ALARMING ME OUTTA DREAMLAND !

The most annoying bit about living at hostel is waking up each day to the hardnosed shrieks of a hysterical alarm clock. Back home, waking up with the lark was trouble enough but at least then I had mum n dad to hug me out of bed and shove my sleepy-eyed being into the shower. Now, I absolutely Hate (with a capital H), the forced interruption of my oh-so-splendid circadian rhythm by the ruthless dictator my alarm clock is. Oh, and with every 3min snooze, you could almost feel it beaming with pleasure, jeering at your reluctance to push your lazy bum outta bed, it taking pride in being the sole cause of your displeasure.

I seriously thank heavens for the advent of cell phones and the resulting obsoleteness of alarm clocks, for at least now I can set the alarm tone of my cell phone to a soft air, that lullabies me back to dream world; rather than wake up to the crass cacophony of the conventional clock !

WHEN THE SEA BEARS AWAY INTO ITS DEPTHS A SINGLE GRAIN OF SAND, THE WHOLE OF EUROPE GROWS SMALLER ...
-Paulo Coehlo

THE LEAF I FALL ON..
THE VEINS I TRACE..
THE SPINE IT PRICKS..
I HAVE NO OTHER WAY TO MOVE ON..

SLOWLY TO THE END..
MAYBE CONVERGE WITH ANOTHER..
A DROP BIG ENOUGH, I SAY..
TO GENTLY FALL OFF..

The lil thing landed in my balcony this afternoon.. she doesn't even know how to fly yet !! she won't let go off my hand at tyms !!


People, Mehreen's getting married.. plz wish her lots of luck and love... www.pinklovesbrown.blogspot.com..

more from me later

Let the eyes do the talking...!

Through the corner of your eyes, you see him enter the room…
You saved him the seat beside you
And he knows it... But he
Decides against sitting by you
And opts cleverly for a seat across the row.


You are in his field of vision, definitely
But his inflated ego refuses to acknowledge the fact..
You know exactly what to do.

Your slender hands manicured especially for him
Playfully turn the pencil to point towards him..
One quick glance towards him,
And there, you catch his eyes, clearly flirtatious,
He breaks into that slightly dimpled smile of his,
quickly curtained to avoid the professor’s wrath.
Your heart skips a beat, and so does his I bet..
His non verbal advances…
Your playful responses…
The blissful turbulence inside you, you feel
When even the most insignificant movements speak oodles…
And you leave it to your eyes do the all talking!! (and the teasing of course !)

LAILA- My Fairytale Princess

As a kid, I was extremely fond of visiting the babies in the neonatal ICU (NICU). I wasn't allowed inside obviously, but through the glass in the children ward , i'd stare at the little somethings for hours at end. Every time i stopped to look at them , the nurse on duty would swing a cot beside me. Through the corner of my eye, I'd look at the inhabitant of the cot- a beautiful girl- her complexion as white as milk, and rose lips; her soft brown locks would rest loosely on her pink cheeks- and if ever i looked at her directly-she'd break into this million dollar smile and her green eyes would twinkle bright as she smiled- she was pristine- my fairytale princess..


The shy girl that I was , I never really spoke to her, until Aunty Rahil introduced me to her one day.. "Baby Laila" she said..
"Arabic ? " i asked
"Whatever."
I stood there puzzled for a while. Aunty explained Laila knows 3 diff languages- Arabic, English , Filipino .. and she even understands Hindi.I stood their awestruck.
Over the next few days , i started visiting the children's ward more often-less to see the nicu babies, more to meet my new pal Laila. There wasn't a moment her smile would fade.. I started talking to her, taught her my name. She was probably a year older to me, but she was so small, n delicate, n skinny..laila never stood up.
Just out of curiosity i asked laila one day, "Laila, phen anta baba, mama" (Laila, where r ur parents?). For the first time in all those days , her smile was subdued.. n softly she whispered - "Laila don know baba mama" ... through the gap in the cot's railings i gave princess my hand.......


It was only years later I was told Laila lost her parents - her dad,a Saudi national n mum an Egyptian- shortly after she was born,in an accident. Laila survived,but was crippled for life. She was now taken care by the Filipino, Indian and Saudi nurses at the hospital. That was her home, and we were family..

I've lost touch with Laila, and the nurses at hospital.. I wish I knew how Laila is, where she is now...She was the happiest girl I'd ever met despite all that she'd lost.. I really miss seeing her, miss telling her, "I'll be Laila's mama".. we love you Laila, wherever you are. God bless you hunnie..

@ pAppU in EVery HOuseHOld

A pappu in every household…
I don’t know about the rest of the world but if you have any Indian links, I’m mighty sure you’ve at the least, 1 pappu at home.. !!!

Pappu bhaiya ??
Pappu mama??
Pappan uncle ??
Pappu, ur best friend’s nickname – he wouldn’t have told you for sure you dumbo!!
Pappu- the guy who can’t dance, s**** !!
Pappu-the guy who doesn’t vote…
Pappu-the guy who washes your car???
Pappu, your new neighbor??
Pappu – the milk man??
Pappu- jo pass ho gaya !!!
Pappu –who picks his nose !!!




I wonder what’s with the name??!! I’m definitely going to Google it one of these days!!
Google: “origin of pappu”- apart from his parents, silly !
Google: “the pappu revolution”
Google: “who names their kids pappu???” ……… I mean people still doooo ??!!!!!!!!
Google: “who was the first pappu anyway??????”
Google: “why can’t people get over the name pappu??”

And while Google looks for my answers, I assume pappu’s graduated from being just a household name to a synonym for the Indian guy-next- door !!

Ok, Mr.every next blogger- own up- are you a pappu too ???!!!

P.s .. what’s the female version of pappu ??? pappy??? Pappi?? Papp’irl’?? papp’woman’ ???

ISHLA- PANI....

Among my best memories from school, was Raad's first day at school. Raad used to be this adorable chubby lil huggable kid, who'd be kuchikooed all the time. chubby, would actually be an understatement !!

I remember the tiny thing slamming the door of my class, 2A, in the middle of a pre-recess social studies lecture with charulata miss , his water-bottle hanging around his neck, and his new uniform soiled beyond recognition.

He knew his sis had to be some where there between the 25 odd faces, and without a moment's hesitation or the teacher's permission, he 'squealed' ,
" Ishla, paani de do !!"... (" ISHLA, WATER !! ")....

:D


The teacher let him have my bottle without raising an eyebrow - perhaps the candidness of the situation or Raad's innocence melted her shrewdness away..

life's good !!

Instant Coffee
Instant Cup Noodles
Instant facebooking

10 odd books, 30 sleepless nights, thank God its all over... Now i realise what they mean when they say, "medicos really need to study loads "...

2.5years through MBBS..feels great, i'm a half-doc already :)...
so far , so good...

will be back 2 blogsville in just a while.. take care buddies.. pray for my results..

In the meanwhile, i've work to be done... an ignored room to be tidied up; and a month of inactive existence, to be shuffled up and ruffled up, life infused into every moment; calls ignored then, to be returned back now; and loads of fun to catch up with !

The Bubble

Solution stirred
Froth formed
Blow into it, and i take form..
Fragile though, a full circle form.

Glistening in the colors of the rainbow,
Dancing with the ways of the wind !!

But touch me not, nor blow me hard.
Here this while, shall be gone the next.
For your one caress, or your one whisper,
Shall spell my end forever.

Here's t a while, i shall cry
Before getting lost to the nothingness of time.

You shall tread ahead,
Just a bubble , you said.
A moment there, the next its gone,
But for the bubble,forever she's dead...

Its my life...

Plugging in the car keys, ignition on, she decided to drive herself to the mall, unaccompanied- cellphone switched off-no cranky bosses to be answerable to, no household responsibilities, no gossipy girlfriends, no protective boyfriend. It had been long, days, maybe months since she'd lived her carefree, child like self. Today she was going to do just that.
Pulling herself a cart, she walked through the aisles of the mall.
Toothpaste-she'd been using gumcare for the last,hmm.. year ??!!.. no, today she grabbed one of her favourite bubblegum flavoured liquid toothpaste. Detergent, hmm no..reminds her of all the laundry she had to get delivered. Room freshener, no, deodorant, soap, shampoo, conditioner, none.. Bubble bath, yes.. the one with the free rubber duckie..
Chocolate- hershey's kisses her favourite, popped a packet into the cart, no.. remimded her of her ex- Harshit.. always brought her one of those when they met.. hershey's kisses back into the rack.. suddenly she didn't feel like buying chocolates.
Milk- skimmed, toned, double toned, naaah... its all she'd been living on since she grew up to be the anorexic teenager she once was.. today it was Banana Milk she went for.. papa loved buying them for her, till she started refusing them when she turned 15.. juices, cheese, energy drinks, nopes, none..
Lipsticks, glosses, kohl, eye-liners .. none.. she wasn't in the mood of anything that made her feel artificial. besides, she was tired of always having to look good.. look good for work, look good for guests, look good for peers, look good for her boy.. today she just wanted to be herself.. simple, sweet, maybe not even beautiful, but then she loved herself the way she was.. all she dropped into the cart was a pedicure kit; her nails really needed some filing, no enamel again.
Brick game.. it'd been ages since she last played tetrix. The mobile games were fine, but for the moment she really wanted her favorite uncomplicated, zero frills kiddie game..
Swinging back the shopping cart , making her way past the toy section, the cosmetic section, food and drink, chocolates, the bakery, household utilities, walked to the counter queue awaiting her turn.. staring pointlessly into her cart, amused with her purchases. She rested her cart on the counter belt, while the saleswoman billed the items one by one.A second later she found herself running back to the chocolates section, grabbed herself a jumbo pack of "hershey's kisses", hurried way past the crowd and tossed the packet in front of the saleswoman, with a funny happy feeling.
As she walked out towards the parking, fumbling for the keys in her over-sized bag, all the way smiling n humming to herself, she realised it wasn't her life she had been living for all these days..it was boss', n mama's, n carol's, n harshit's life she was leading.. this very second, she had taken back her life into her own hands.Today, chocolates meant chocolates, not harshit.. who was harshit anyway? She loved chocolates, not harshit..



The smallest fantasies in life sometimes give way to the biggest realizations.
Introspection isn't a bad idea after all.

WHATEVER ...

Feeling so completely mixed up at the moment..Don’t even know why I’m blogging today..


• I’m still laughing at Phoebee’s “Human spleen and garbage song” from an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S I saw 3 days back..



• I’m wondering what’s so “new” about the New Year minus the date..


• I’m staring at the almost worn-out henna on my hands and thinking how every doctor could be a henna artist by just drawing a couple of smooth muscle cells and filling them up with macrophages, leukocytes, nuclei- whatever..





• I’m sad about mum not letting me take a laptop back to hostel- that’s one reason why I’m such an “unavailable blogger” – despite the fact that I’m probably my happiest when blogging. Don’t miss out on any of your blogs, thanks to the cell phone, but cant comment/post through it :( ..


• I’m angry with the Indian railways for reserving my berth in the cubicle next to the WC- all through the previous year, and that, without fail ; which means a ‘full journey entertainment package’ which includes passengers rushing in and out at odd times to empty bladders , cranky children who need nappy changes, busy-doing-nothing aunties who need to wash pickle jars, restless uncles who just need some fresh air, chronic smokers who feel left out if they don’t contribute their share to global warming, cell phone addicts frantically searching for the exact latitudes and longitudes of the networks, playing hide-n-seek with them, the innumerable chai, biscuit, paper soap walas . And not to forget the light and sound effect from the passage lights that won’t go off the entire night and the unfailingly creaky door respectively.



• I’m wondering how I’ll manage studying 4 XXL books (add 1 more for parasitology ) and completing 100 odd pages of med-journals before the 12th of January..



• I’m missing holding hands and running bare feet in wet sand and splash into the sea- playing ‘who’s stronger’ with the waves, the smell of salt in the air.. And seaweeds brushing against your legs…





• I’m amazed at how perfectly round, hard-boiled egg yolks are- and the perfect grayish blue tint the periphery of the yolk takes up leaving the core a soft yellow core……




• And I’m wondering how many of you, the wonderful souls that you are, would pray I score really really well in the exams I’m taking this month and the next.. and for the laptop I so badly need at hostel



P.S. HAPPY NEW YEAR ... maybe someday i'll find whats so new about the new year...