Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Bubble

Solution stirred
Froth formed
Blow into it, and i take form..
Fragile though, a full circle form.

Glistening in the colors of the rainbow,
Dancing with the ways of the wind !!

But touch me not, nor blow me hard.
Here this while, shall be gone the next.
For your one caress, or your one whisper,
Shall spell my end forever.

Here's t a while, i shall cry
Before getting lost to the nothingness of time.

You shall tread ahead,
Just a bubble , you said.
A moment there, the next its gone,
But for the bubble,forever she's dead...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Its my life...

Plugging in the car keys, ignition on, she decided to drive herself to the mall, unaccompanied- cellphone switched off-no cranky bosses to be answerable to, no household responsibilities, no gossipy girlfriends, no protective boyfriend. It had been long, days, maybe months since she'd lived her carefree, child like self. Today she was going to do just that.
Pulling herself a cart, she walked through the aisles of the mall.
Toothpaste-she'd been using gumcare for the last,hmm.. year ??!!.. no, today she grabbed one of her favourite bubblegum flavoured liquid toothpaste. Detergent, hmm no..reminds her of all the laundry she had to get delivered. Room freshener, no, deodorant, soap, shampoo, conditioner, none.. Bubble bath, yes.. the one with the free rubber duckie..
Chocolate- hershey's kisses her favourite, popped a packet into the cart, no.. remimded her of her ex- Harshit.. always brought her one of those when they met.. hershey's kisses back into the rack.. suddenly she didn't feel like buying chocolates.
Milk- skimmed, toned, double toned, naaah... its all she'd been living on since she grew up to be the anorexic teenager she once was.. today it was Banana Milk she went for.. papa loved buying them for her, till she started refusing them when she turned 15.. juices, cheese, energy drinks, nopes, none..
Lipsticks, glosses, kohl, eye-liners .. none.. she wasn't in the mood of anything that made her feel artificial. besides, she was tired of always having to look good.. look good for work, look good for guests, look good for peers, look good for her boy.. today she just wanted to be herself.. simple, sweet, maybe not even beautiful, but then she loved herself the way she was.. all she dropped into the cart was a pedicure kit; her nails really needed some filing, no enamel again.
Brick game.. it'd been ages since she last played tetrix. The mobile games were fine, but for the moment she really wanted her favorite uncomplicated, zero frills kiddie game..
Swinging back the shopping cart , making her way past the toy section, the cosmetic section, food and drink, chocolates, the bakery, household utilities, walked to the counter queue awaiting her turn.. staring pointlessly into her cart, amused with her purchases. She rested her cart on the counter belt, while the saleswoman billed the items one by one.A second later she found herself running back to the chocolates section, grabbed herself a jumbo pack of "hershey's kisses", hurried way past the crowd and tossed the packet in front of the saleswoman, with a funny happy feeling.
As she walked out towards the parking, fumbling for the keys in her over-sized bag, all the way smiling n humming to herself, she realised it wasn't her life she had been living for all these was boss', n mama's, n carol's, n harshit's life she was leading.. this very second, she had taken back her life into her own hands.Today, chocolates meant chocolates, not harshit.. who was harshit anyway? She loved chocolates, not harshit..

The smallest fantasies in life sometimes give way to the biggest realizations.
Introspection isn't a bad idea after all.

Friday, January 2, 2009


Feeling so completely mixed up at the moment..Don’t even know why I’m blogging today..

• I’m still laughing at Phoebee’s “Human spleen and garbage song” from an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S I saw 3 days back..

• I’m wondering what’s so “new” about the New Year minus the date..

• I’m staring at the almost worn-out henna on my hands and thinking how every doctor could be a henna artist by just drawing a couple of smooth muscle cells and filling them up with macrophages, leukocytes, nuclei- whatever..

• I’m sad about mum not letting me take a laptop back to hostel- that’s one reason why I’m such an “unavailable blogger” – despite the fact that I’m probably my happiest when blogging. Don’t miss out on any of your blogs, thanks to the cell phone, but cant comment/post through it :( ..

• I’m angry with the Indian railways for reserving my berth in the cubicle next to the WC- all through the previous year, and that, without fail ; which means a ‘full journey entertainment package’ which includes passengers rushing in and out at odd times to empty bladders , cranky children who need nappy changes, busy-doing-nothing aunties who need to wash pickle jars, restless uncles who just need some fresh air, chronic smokers who feel left out if they don’t contribute their share to global warming, cell phone addicts frantically searching for the exact latitudes and longitudes of the networks, playing hide-n-seek with them, the innumerable chai, biscuit, paper soap walas . And not to forget the light and sound effect from the passage lights that won’t go off the entire night and the unfailingly creaky door respectively.

• I’m wondering how I’ll manage studying 4 XXL books (add 1 more for parasitology ) and completing 100 odd pages of med-journals before the 12th of January..

• I’m missing holding hands and running bare feet in wet sand and splash into the sea- playing ‘who’s stronger’ with the waves, the smell of salt in the air.. And seaweeds brushing against your legs…

• I’m amazed at how perfectly round, hard-boiled egg yolks are- and the perfect grayish blue tint the periphery of the yolk takes up leaving the core a soft yellow core……

• And I’m wondering how many of you, the wonderful souls that you are, would pray I score really really well in the exams I’m taking this month and the next.. and for the laptop I so badly need at hostel

P.S. HAPPY NEW YEAR ... maybe someday i'll find whats so new about the new year...