Thursday, January 22, 2009

Its my life...


Plugging in the car keys, ignition on, she decided to drive herself to the mall, unaccompanied- cellphone switched off-no cranky bosses to be answerable to, no household responsibilities, no gossipy girlfriends, no protective boyfriend. It had been long, days, maybe months since she'd lived her carefree, child like self. Today she was going to do just that.
Pulling herself a cart, she walked through the aisles of the mall.
Toothpaste-she'd been using gumcare for the last,hmm.. year ??!!.. no, today she grabbed one of her favourite bubblegum flavoured liquid toothpaste. Detergent, hmm no..reminds her of all the laundry she had to get delivered. Room freshener, no, deodorant, soap, shampoo, conditioner, none.. Bubble bath, yes.. the one with the free rubber duckie..
Chocolate- hershey's kisses her favourite, popped a packet into the cart, no.. remimded her of her ex- Harshit.. always brought her one of those when they met.. hershey's kisses back into the rack.. suddenly she didn't feel like buying chocolates.
Milk- skimmed, toned, double toned, naaah... its all she'd been living on since she grew up to be the anorexic teenager she once was.. today it was Banana Milk she went for.. papa loved buying them for her, till she started refusing them when she turned 15.. juices, cheese, energy drinks, nopes, none..
Lipsticks, glosses, kohl, eye-liners .. none.. she wasn't in the mood of anything that made her feel artificial. besides, she was tired of always having to look good.. look good for work, look good for guests, look good for peers, look good for her boy.. today she just wanted to be herself.. simple, sweet, maybe not even beautiful, but then she loved herself the way she was.. all she dropped into the cart was a pedicure kit; her nails really needed some filing, no enamel again.
Brick game.. it'd been ages since she last played tetrix. The mobile games were fine, but for the moment she really wanted her favorite uncomplicated, zero frills kiddie game..
Swinging back the shopping cart , making her way past the toy section, the cosmetic section, food and drink, chocolates, the bakery, household utilities, walked to the counter queue awaiting her turn.. staring pointlessly into her cart, amused with her purchases. She rested her cart on the counter belt, while the saleswoman billed the items one by one.A second later she found herself running back to the chocolates section, grabbed herself a jumbo pack of "hershey's kisses", hurried way past the crowd and tossed the packet in front of the saleswoman, with a funny happy feeling.
As she walked out towards the parking, fumbling for the keys in her over-sized bag, all the way smiling n humming to herself, she realised it wasn't her life she had been living for all these days..it was boss', n mama's, n carol's, n harshit's life she was leading.. this very second, she had taken back her life into her own hands.Today, chocolates meant chocolates, not harshit.. who was harshit anyway? She loved chocolates, not harshit..



The smallest fantasies in life sometimes give way to the biggest realizations.
Introspection isn't a bad idea after all.

12 comments:

  1. Hi Isra...

    I agree with you... we need to have self content over those little desires else even the biggest of joys would be strained.

    take care mate... loved this post... cheers...

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  2. Oh my !! i dnt have a guy, i am not fond of dieting n all n i certainly live on my own terms... but 1 thing i agree with this post is that its just the small things that matters .. like the choclates, banana milk and bubblegum here :D !! i loved ds post ..

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  3. @ arv
    ur rite arv, its the small things in life that make it worth living..
    cheers

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  4. @ pretty me
    welcome to my blog hunnie.. thnx sweethrt :).. keep smiiliiing .. eeeeee :)

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  5. Well written :) !!
    many times.. we stop living for ourself and plan the entire day according to convenience of a single person we love or for others...
    But then we do learn and find ourselves back in the smallest of things....

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  6. Oh nice!!! :)
    All of us, ESPECIALLY women, tend up give up or change a lot of things for others.
    But we need to realise...it's important to love ourselves too. :)

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  7. @ charmed one, ki
    welcome to my blog..i'm glad you enjoyed
    thanks for blogrolling me "pretty me" :)..
    ki, i'm one of those stupid jerks u mentioned, can change myself for probably anything.. learning from life :)


    @ sawan
    thank u sawan.. :)

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  8. Where was I ? Such a good blog and I am least concerned! Sorry Tinkerbell for not coming sooner... I love your blog, the playlist, the template everything! You are blogrolled:)

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  9. @ mithe
    first your amazing blog, then u visiting my blog, and then the extremely cute comment... am i lucky or what ! :) thanx hunnie...wishin us both a gr8 tym on each other's blogs
    cheers

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  10. loved it...would liek to read more story kinds from you...its been ages i heard your voice...would love that too...howz life anyway??

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  11. @nikita
    i don't normally post most of my stories, i might in future.. i'm doin fine hunnie.. how abt u

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