I'll Miss You Dadi...

Hospital greens had been the colour of the month

For every time, she was there, they were there to welcome her

Those, and the pungent smell of disinfectants..

Everday, from dawn to dusk, she’d sit alone

The chair in the corner of the waiting hall, she’d made her own..

For they said, she wasn’t old enough to trespass the boundaries of the green curtains beyond the glass doors

Over the month, all she’d seen were nurses rushing in and doctors taking rounds,weary relatives at times..

She knew they had her granny in there, and hopeful granny would call her in one day she waited.. and waited..

When finally today they did call her...

Among a million wires, large monitors and machines she’d never seen..

Among suppressed sobs and sniffs ..

There lay granny..

Peaceful and calm,

Still and serene,

Her face whiter than the shroud that covered her today..





And they thought, she was too little to understand............

SOLITUDE...

pictures of my favourite corner at college.. my favourite bench facing "the budgy n bunny enclosure" as i call it.. can sit here for hours together just watching fluffy bunnies munching on greenies, or budgies meticulously preening themselves.. And at times just the musty smell of wet grass gives me a high..

If ever you find me nowhere, you know where to look now ;)

Just Dropped by (again)

this friend of mine once called me " geeli mitti".. hindi for "wet clay".. and i proceeded to explain," Anyone can mould you into whatever they want you to be-you need to be strong and learn to say no to people..the world can be a cruel place "..

Amazed at how true this stands today.......

How Cute Is CUTE..??

THIS FRIEND OF MINE-ARVIND, OFTEN GETS PISSED OFF EACH TIME I USE THE WORD "CUTE" AND REMARKS IN A NICE-" YOU GOTTA ANSWER ME TODAY" LOOK- "DEFINITION KYA HAI TUMHARE 'CUTE' KA?? " (whats your definition of the word "cute.. ).. MAYBE BECAUSE I USE IT TOO OFTEN, MAYBE BECAUSE I USE IT FOR ALMOST ANYTHING I LAY MY EYES ON..
A CUTE BABY IS CUTE, BUT AN AGING ANATOMY PROFFESSOR WITH A NICE WHITE CROP ATOP HIS TEDDYBEAR FACE ?? I FIND HIM CUTE.. REALLY !!
A CUDDLY HAMSTER'S CUTE, SO IS A FLUFFY YELLOW CHICK, BUT BELEIVE ME, I FIND AN UGLY OLD BESPECTALED OWL CUTE TOO !!
SHAHRUKH KHAN MAYBE HANDSOME, BUT SHAHID KAPOOR'S CUTE..
AND CUTE IS THE OLD COUPLE WHO WALK THEIR WAY EACH DAY HAND-IN-HAND, STEP-IN-STEP..
THE NEW SIZE OF SPRITE EXPRESS IS CUTE..
THAT DIRTY DOG THAT TREATS MY HOSTEL COMPOUND LIKE HOME IS AN UGLY CUTE THING TOO..
THE HIPPO THAT PEED ON FARAH AND RAAD AT THE ZOO WAS REALLY CUTE TOO !! (REMEMBER DARLING?? )
CUTE ARE MY STUFFIES, BUT SO IS MY PILLOW !!
AND CUTE IS DONALD DUCK'S REAR WHEN HE WALKS..SWISHH SWING TO THE LEFT WITH A STEP, SWISHH SWING TO THE RIGHT WITH THE NEXT !!

AND YOU CALLING ME CUTE AT A PARTY, WHEN I EXPECT BEING CALLED PRETTY IS AN OUTRIGHT INSULT- REALLY, YOUR NICE POLITE WAY OF SAYING- YOUR UGLY !!

I'VE BEGUN WONDERING MYSELF.. HOW CUTE IS CUTE REALLY..ANY ANSWERS ??

Knock Knock.. Here Comes Winter

Woke up this morning with a fresh positivity that i'd been deprived of all through October. October wasnt kind 2 me..I'm sure Nov will be..

Ran to change the calender sheets to NOVEMBER, before anyone else did.. wow!just that made me feel victorious- and why not, I'd mercilessly shooed away dreadful October !!

With November, I declare winter's arrival too.. it isnt even cold yet, not even mildly cool.. but so what, I'm the Queen of my psychology, and i decide when winter begins.. there is something wonderful about the season..In love with it completely..

1. love that winter glow,early in the morning.. i dunno how, but somehow u actually turn 2 look really radiant and pristine after a good winter nite's sleep.. don't believe me?? check out for yourself..run 2 the mirror first thing in the morning!





2. love the massive bedspreads, fluffy fleeces, warm comforters, heavy blankets that seemingly crush u under their weight- love 'em.. the heavier the better





3. love woollens.. oversized pullovers (love my nails barely peeping out from the sleeves..;) ), fitted sweaters , warm socks, carpet slippers- somehow it makes me feel so huggable!!





4. love the complacency winter infuses into me.. though dad n mum get pissed off with me when i become complacent.. specially when it comes 2 taking a shower.. not that i don't like taking a bath.. its just like winter makes life feel easy-paced... "isra take a shower- what's the hurry mama" kinda attitude!





5. love physics for once!! why take pains to love the entire subject, maybe i just love what static electricity does to your hair and woolies- the crackles, the sparks, the works !!





6. love the fact that the sun spares me a few months of tanning.. most people are delighted to see the sun in winters..ahemm...no thanks, i have no plans of joining your occassional winter sun baths!





7. love the layer over layer of clothes hiding any sign of fat/ flab that may be.. If someone calls me fat in winters all I need say- I'm thin beneath my layers!





8. Its when i get 2 wear all my oversized clothes... their "oversize" gets hidden under vibrant woollens





9. I'm not much a dog lover really, but I'm terribly in love with those lil pugs n poodles in funny "dog jackets" and "checked sweaters" fruitlessly trying to keep pace with their masters !!





10. love the colours of winter- deep misty blue and frosty white..
    




11. love food in winter... its when u realise how good warm food tastes..unlike in summers,when everything around you is warm!! plus there's this delicacy called nihari, usually made in winters.. n believe me,its amaaazziiing!!



12. love that slight shivering, the involuntary jaw movements, the sound of teeth trembling against each other.. as if u've just been switched to a vibrate mode!



13. love curling up into a warm corner.. makes me feel like a soft ball of wool.. reminds me of 1day old chicks digging among themselves to find their sweet spot..



14. love my kuppa.. freshly brewed,steaming hot ethiopian coffee.. keep my hands wrapped around the hot mug for as long as it warms up my hands!!



15. doesnt snow at my place ... though i'd have loved it if it did.. :)

I'm gonna miss u forever..

Twas fun 2 b loved, and cared for
twas fun 2 b pampered endlessly..
To wake up 2 another sleepy voice,
to share each breath,across unknown distances..
The thought of being cuddled into the coziness of fluffy bedspreads,with u at my side..
And you, waking up 2 the nothingness of the dark night,just to whisper into my ears- "baby, i love u.."
I'm going 2 miss it all..had loved you with all your imperfections.. wish you had too...

SAVOUR THE FLAVOUR OF.. PANI PURIS !!

Being one of the Halim clan, I was labelled a foodie since the day I was born.. for there isn't a Halim who doesnt love good food.. & an indian H alim at that!

15 years past my relatively uneventful existence was when I became a "resident" Indian & that was precisely when I discovered something I had unfortunately been deprived of all those years- PANI PURIS !

Pani puris, aka golgappas, gupchups, phuchkas & whatever else the diversity of the indian subcontinent calls it, are amazing crispy, crunchy hollow balls of fried flour or suji, with spicy mashed potatoes fed into them & filled to the brim with tangy water, thanks 2 fresh tamarind, with rich indian powdered spices- which seemingly excite every tastebud that exists!

The day I first had it was when I realised how wide I could open my mouth 2 pop one in without spilling out the water.. honestly! Though first attempts were failed attempts, even the dripping of water into my plate was fun !

And the way the crispy ball cracks between the tongue and palate, giving way to the water that floods the mouth & playfully flirts around with your tastebuds.. & the hint of mashed potato beneath your molar.. pleasure beyond words !!

OH & by the way, they r never 2 be eaten alone cz half the fun of it comes from watching others struggle to pop it in without crushing the delicate crisp between their fingers; or all the water that drips from the corners of their mouth and down 2 their chin..oops!! even soil their shirts!! :) ... or the series of expressions that take form..

... mouth wide open..

...cheeks ballooned..

...lips pursed tightly to avoid "leakage" :p

...that hint of alarm when they stain their shirts..

...followed by a quick blink as they savour the tangy liquid..

...a swallow..

and then that satisfactory grin..

For those never sensitised to it, you can even see visible goosepimples cropping up!!

Need i say more than YUMMMMMMM... !!

YUCK!! GREEN GROWS THE FUNGUS

This friend of mine has a knack for leaving unconsumed food material lying around for days together..(eeeooowww!!).. i managed to take a picture of stale milk she'd left on her table after clipping my nares with cloth clips!! thats fungi growing over it.. I probably wouldnt use the mug ever again.. but then she's not "me"..!!

Things i love fighting about with Raad..!!

.



now, thats something 2 write about.. me n Raad, my lil brother (not so lil anymore ) had been warriors in pampers.. we're no better even now,that is when we're together..minus the pamper bit ofcourse.. growing up together had its shares of love n "war".. remember fighting with him with things as trivial as..

1. hey! u got an extra frenchfry
2. who asked u 2 take my pencil
3. i'm watching my channel while dinner.. and b4 and after it!!
   
4. india's odi is no reason 4 u to snatch the remote
5. u've had enough of netting..my turn 2 use the laptop
6. isra,shut up your crass cacophony-there's one person already singing.. n if ur singing(read croaking-i'll turn off the music)
7. your in my space of the bed by exactly one inch..get off this very moment
8. do not touch my dressing table.. i had to chop off my precious tresses thanks 2 ur "lemme be ur hairdresser today" mood...
9. i always take a bath first... not today mister
10. i'll take the window seat (in an air journey)..else i wont travel !!
11. do u always have to start reading the newspapr when u know i was just about 2 read it

12. mum ask her 2 stop blabbering with her " u need to lose wt fatty" rubbish
....
....
.... despite it all, growing up with fatty was pleasure in itself..!!

just dropped by..

LIFE IS DIVINE CHAOS....
something i read somewhere.. really stuck me.. holds true 4 me... n u???

A bitter truth thats dawning upon me now- i have a limited time with my parents..despite them being the reason for my being, my all..

Since the last 20 years, living with them was like the sun rising from the east-very batural,no big deal.. Now that i'm at hostel-physically distant from them for a major part of the year, I suddenly realise-I go home, for just.. " a vacation"!

The next 5-10 years go into career building, followed by a job, a wedlock- when again shall i be the carefree Isra I was,with mum n papa at my side,every single second of my existence...

I want to get back to them forever..

Suddenly, I don't like where I am, and who I am,without them

I want to be there for them.

I want to look after them,

I want to b the one to give papa his reading glasses,

And I want to b the one to help mum with all the work..

Life doesnt move on without them...

MISS U MAMA, MISS U PAPA

YOU'RE MY LIFE ............

FLOODS IN BIHAR

“Please write down my name sir, i had my wife, three children, six bighas of land, two buffalos and a pair of ox.. Now, there is just me”
Sudarshan Shah, 45, a flood victim tells HT in Murliganj Village, Bihar

This was just another of the flood victims in the Bihar..trying to get his name entered in a journalist's notepad.. probably the biggest flood in the history of modern india..

isra's sad about the sorry state of affairs :(

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY- 05.09.2008

Dear teacher
Accept this as a token of gratitude ,
From me to you..
I thank you for helping me recompose the priorities in life,
I thank you for adding dimensions to it,
I thank you for giving me the impetus to realise my true potential,
I thank you for bringing out my hidden ambitions
For that sympathetic pat when i was low
For that thumbs up when i succeeded
For that word of concern, when i knew not where to go
For that rebuke, that corrected my mistake..
I saw a path
But knew not where it led..
You gave me the inspiration,
To tread ahead..
Today, i know i will triumph
I will triumph for you are with,
I will triumph for you have helped me realise that almost reckless confidence in me..
I will triumph for you have taught me to channel that confidence to take on new challenges and old fears
I will triumph for, dear teacher, you are there for me with hands outstretched every time i stumble and fall.
I can’t’ promise i’ll rule the world..
I can’t promise i’ll rise above expectations..
I can’t promise i’ll always succeed..
But what i shall promise.......
I promise i’ll give you the achiever in me
I promise to never let you down
I promise i won’t rest till there’s work to be done
And i promise,
In this ambitious young adult
Lies a modern day doctor..
Waiting to spring out..
And when she does spring out;
She’ll be nothing short of the best
Because thats what you want her to be.
A million thanks won’t suffice for the person you’ve made me
Happy teacher’s day - 2008

LETS TALK ABOUT.................... ME !!!!!

Picture this people,one poor soul, with absolutely nothing to do, who’s crossed all possible boundaries of boredom, and who’s mind’s as empty as barren land , decides to comment not on the latest piece of news, not on the material world rubbish, not what she thinks of the current fads, but on the face she sees in the mirror at the moment.. that’s me !!

Wonder if there’s a stranger thing boredom can make me do ; but since this is it for the moment, let me move on..

lemme begin from…hmmm… the beginning (see, I told you I was bored !! )

the forehead- of its almost non-existent existence up there a major part’s covered by disobedient scalp hair that for some reason doesn’t limit itself to the scalp ! strange ways they have, you know!

Isra’s eyes- I’ll be kinder to them, than I was to my forehead..atleast they are so characteristic of me.. large, dark brown,fairly long lashes.. atopped by thin brows, and what makes me like them somewhat is the way they taper at the temple.. line them with kohl, a dash of mascara maybe,,and don’t I love them do the talking..or the laughing and crying too!!

A carrot for a nose.. long, pointed (witchy description) with a slight parrot beak (ughh..) and a scar that a fainting episode left me with!! Mum. I wish I’d taken your genes at this one, perhaps I was too nasty a fetus to get something as pretty as yours !!

The lips.. hmmm.. I’d be surprised if you’d even notice such pencil thin lips at first glance.. thankfully a smile adds some substance to them somehow.. as for the shape, not bad, jayanti used to tell me at school, “ you have lips like lips !!“.. you know the kind most people draw on paper !!

Of the cheeks, I do remember having plenty of it sometime ago, with all that adipose within!! As for what the mirror says, its lost most of the adipose to some strange entity called a workout !!

Not bad really, minus the tan I’ve developed recently.. but then again, I’m sure its temporary (fingers crossed !! )..

More on me later, since I’ve found myself better work to do than torture the looking glass !!

BABY AASTHA- THE ABANDONED GIRL CHILD

(NAME CHANGED)
North India’s known for its chilly winters. One such winter afternoon, the boys were upto their usual games – and for indian boys a game is synonymous with CRICKET! The Tendulkars and Dravids of the colony, they always attempted 4s and 6s- a shot here, a shot there, some through window panes, others into open gutters- and off the fielders would follow the ball till their fists would grasp the ball firmly, and a satisfactory grin would run across their faces.
Who was to know, one of their gutter shots would be life-saving, literally..
This one afternoon the ball landed into a dirty ‘nala’ with an overgrowth of winter weeds. In his haste the boy chasing the ball fell over- part of it to grasp the ball, and part to show off his Yuvraj Singh heroism.. the ball in his fists, and arms in position to throw the ball to the next closest fielder..but what followed froze the boy in position-a feeble cry sounded from the nothingness of the gutter. The boy bent down closer,searching for he source of the cry-there lay a muddy, deglazed green polybag. Frightened and clueless as he was, he called upon his other playmates.. within minutes a crowd had gathered- the young ,the old, male and female. The cry continued weak and intermittent, but not a soul dared o touch the polybag. People started making guesses in thin air, coaxed each other to pick up the bag, layed down illogical statements on who should be the one to lift the “untouchable”, offered to call up the police .. While everything was being said, there was little being down- until the arrival of the good samaritan – in Mrs. Mridula Prakash.
Mrs. Mridula Prakash, a asociology teacher at Notre Dame Academy, run by the Sisters of Notre Dame (SND), was known to be one of the most approachable person in the colony.. a genuine soul, a woman with a heart of gold-truly a gem of a person.
The commotion outside her house compelled her to step out. On learning the facts of the situation, she stormed through the unyielding crowd, making her way to the scene of crime, despite numerous protests from the crowd. Without any hesitation, she bent down, lifted up the bag, tore apart its ends.. A baby girl, cold and wet, blood stained and muddy, with a clamped umbilical cord, and a flimsy piece of cloth wrapped around carelessly, lay in Mrs. Prakash’s arms. An uneasy hush took over the crowd, and the air was filled with murmurs a many. Mrs. Prakash looked at the crowd in disgust, for a moment that lasted less than a second. Without any further delay, she summoned the ambulance and rushed the baby to the hospital.. the crowd dispersed in a while- some amazed at the presence of mind of Mrs. Prakash, others touched at the sorry state of the baby.
Later was it known, that the baby survived and was adopted by Mrs. Mridula Prakash. The singular efforts of 1 brave woman saved just another Indian female baby from the wrath of a cruel society, for not many baby Aastha’s are fortunate enough...

Beyond flowers n fruits..

Sun-kissed fresh green leaves,

flowers in bloom,

tiny buds,as if just about to burst into fresh blossoms,

green grass bathed in sparkling morning dew,

the air filled with that musty dampness,

squirrels playfully hiding in and out well-trimmed bushes,

and majestic trees that spread out their massive branches-an abode to those beautiful chirpy creatures....

thats probably the picture that most of us create upon hearing the word garden..few of us,if not none,think about the miracles taking form there...

IN the coccoons that metamorphose to butterflies..

IN the flower that just got pollinated by a busy bee..

"LIFE just took new form"

IN the anthill you just stepped over..

IN the squirrel you just shooed away..

"A WAVE of flurry just took over minute fauna"

IN the crunching of dried leaves beneath your step..

IN the chirping of hungry chicks perched atop the highest branches..

"NATURE just harmonised its favourite melodies"

AND as the sun sets low..

That swarm of bees entering their intricately built hives..

And the birds,their articulately woven nests..

A sight!

after all home is where the heart is..!

Retail therapy

This blog of mine specially goes out 2 all the shopaholics out there-a vast chunk of which constitute the fairer sex.. Shopping works wonders for us,doesn't it ladies.. the ultimate mood-uplifter..

For those who've never tried it out,do try it someday..
someday when u r feeling blue..
someday when there's nothin' 2 beat the boredom
someday when blissful solitude turns 2 (ugh..) loneliness..

Just grab ur wallet..
some credit cards would come in handy if ur a spendthrift lyk me
a buddy,to accompany u,would just add 2 the fun..
the keys 2 ur car..and off u go......
what next??

SPLURGE!!!!

Buy yourself new clothes..try out a new pair of jeans-so what if you are not in the mood of buying it!! good tym 2 assess how many more inches u need 2 lose b4 that u could get into that envious pair of waist 26 jeans!!
Dress yourself in the most expensive tees..even if u know your eventually never going 2 buy it-thats the fun of it all!!!
And who doesn't love buying footwear-anything from the colorful flipflops,those sexy stilettos,ballerinas maybe or just those branded sport shoes to spice up your workouts...

Indulge in the latest spa treatments,get yourself a wild new hairdo, buy ur pals gifts..thats pleasure in itself..!! honestly!

And after all the calories you've lost shopping (thats my favourite reason to shop !).. treat youself to the creamiest cappuccino you've had in a long long time...aaah..bliss!!

i'm sure this is goin 2 fetch much applause,atleast from the womenfolk...rite ladies!!!

The woes of being a non-vegetarian in a vegetarian India

i'd always been this pampered daddy's girl..with nice chubby cheeks and a size u wudnt call small..thanx 2 my "chicken twice a day" diet.the "Halim's"-thats my family,love good food,n i am no exception.. our migration 2 india from a country that survives on animal food never made much of a difference,4 the "home-fed" me.. 4 i was still a "chicken twice a day" girl.. never made a difference...till...i was sent 2 a hostel!!

im known 2 b very adjusting..n the new "pure veggie" menu was,as i took it "just another of the new changes around me".......

one and a half years down the lane..

im no more that chubby cheeks girl i used 2 be...i've lost weight like i'm just back after a liposuction!! my features r ever more prominent,atleast i know how my cheekbones look now,without having 2 dissect my face,the thing we do 2 cadavers at medskool..... ALL THANKS 2 the vegetarian food... :(..

vegetarian foods yumm...n nutritious..n less fattening...but it sure is the most boring form of food for a chronic non-vegetarian poor girl like me...!! i often wonder how people can feast on "grass" for all their lives!! n how less variety there is!!... atleast at hostel... breaks all barriers of monotony... God bless me poor girl!!

A Miracle called BIRTH

"The pain of a woman in labour amounts to that of 10,000 martyrs in battlefield"-so i'd read and heard..

Being a medical student I knew I'd have 2 face women in labour pains-little did i know I'll witness a normal delivery so soon..

The uneasy calm of a warm summer afternoon was broken only by the occassional crisps of paper, the noisy fan and the sound of metal somethings ,as the nurse readied her instument trolly; while the 2 of us students waited for instructions from our superiors, with nothing but our wrist watches to beat the boredom..

...when all of a sudden,the eerie silence was broken by an unwelcoming hustle bustle,sounds of excitement interspersed with hysterical shrieks n cries. The two of us stepped aside while our superiors took charge of the situation- anxious relatives shoving a woman, visibly pregnant into the labour room. While the relatives were asked 2 leave,the 2 of us were ushered to the delivery table- clueless and blank we kept watching..the sequence of events that followed left us stunned........................

How with each contraction, the pain kept aggravating

How with each passing second, the woman's resolve grew stronger

How every bout of effort, left her exhausted..

How every bit of encouragement worked wonders for her

Minutes seemed hours for her-thanks 2 the excruciating pain

And endless hours at those..

Slimy membranes...

And blood..pooled into trays..

THEN,lo and behold..

That tiny tuft of hair

Out...

In..

Out and in for the next few seconds..

Uncertain probably..of what lay ahead..

Waiting 4 maybe..another push or two..

"And out it pops"

The miracle of God..

Delivered into the world..

Welcome baby, welcome new life...........

then lay the mother-exhausted,calm but with happiness that new no bounds..

THE 20YRS OF MY LIFE JUST FLEW BY..

20 years off my life just flew past me...its only now i realise how much i could've done..lemme reframe it...its only now i realise how much "more" i could've done..now that sounds more positive..
how much i love the word "perfect".. n dats what i strive 2 b...
perfect daughter
perfect sister
perfect doctor
perfect looks
perfect figure
perfect manners...
perfecr friend...
the world is a limitless place...huge n fascinating..
so many languages 2 learn..
so many cultures 2 explore
so many ppl 2 interact with
so many books 2 read
so many cuisines 2 experiment..
i am greedy 4 it all...

life's 2 short 4 so much 2 b done!!

wonder how i can maximise each moment that im blessed with...